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This is my story and it is just that…

by Parent in a letter to CanSS, posted 01 02 2015

This is my story and it is just that... A true story of our family experience of cannabis. I know there are many out there who will rubbish it for being just one story,arguing that one story is not 'evidence' and maybe will want to rubbish my son for being too weak to use cannabis safely or us, for not setting him firm boundaries and taking more control.

I have read comments like these written to other parents who have tried to make sense of their children's drug use. How cruel! Surely, such words must come from the minds of those who choose to be wilfully blind about the realities of the dangers and difficulties posed by drugs. Our son, Jim, got into smoking cannabis when he was 15 or 16, as far as we can work out now. Of course we didn't know until he slipped up, leaving a stash in the bottom of a sock that made its way into the washing one day when he was just 17. There had been no obvious signs that made us suspicious. Jim was a quiet boy by nature and like many teenagers he had become somewhat more withdrawn, but nothing too serious that raised any alarms. He was regular at school, got his homework in on time and did commendably well in his GCSE's. As he began his A level studies his interest in his work picked up if anything, as he began to engage at a deeper level. Alongside this he had a couple of part time jobs. He sent quite a lot of his earnings to charities that he supported.
When we discovered he was using cannabis he was defensive with us and told us that there wasn't a problem; all his friends did it, and on top of this the government didn't think it was an issue as the drug had recently (in 2004) been downgraded from B to C. We naturally enough felt very differently about it and tried to find help for both him and us, though with little success.
Jim rejected any formal help while we were told by one helpline that this was his life and we should respect his decisions about how he wanted to lead it! So we were left with our problem, feeling anxious for our son and wondering if there was anything we had left undone that might have prevented him from using drugs.
Over the next few months there were some ups and downs but eventually Jim admitted that he thought the drug was causing him problems. He told us that he wanted to stop using but was finding it very difficult. For this reason he chose to go and work in a drug rehabilitation centre after his A levels, as he thought that there he would be in a place where he could find support while supporting others.
However, it seems the cannabis had started a process in Jim that was too strong for him to control. He found that wherever he was, it made no difference. 3 years later in 2007, when he was just 21 years old, Jim died of an accidental heroin overdose.
Of course this is a tragic story and of course I know that thankfully most young people who start on cannabis will not go on to die of heroin. But just one needless tragedy is one too many. I am not trying to argue anything with our story. One story is just that, a single incident that doesn't prove anything. But this much I know, since Jim died I have met far too many parents with similar stories... Parents who, like us, cared deeply about their children and tried to bring them up to be aware of the dangers of drugs and then did their best to help them when they got embroiled with drugs anyway.
I feel very strongly that our children are receiving mixed messages about drugs, and I also believe there is a very powerful lobby that wants them to believe that drugs are cool and not an issue, and those who say otherwise are just right wing reactionary sorts that don't deserve to be listened to.
There is enough evidence out there now, and the amount of it seems to be increasing all the time. Cannabis is harmful to anyone in some degree and very harmful to some. We'll never stop the trade, whether it is decriminalised or not, I know that, but we can stand up and make our voices heard,
even if we are called irrelevant dinosaurs. We must do all we can to make sure as many young people as possible realise the risks, and feel strong enough to walk away from this anything but innocuous weed before they too run the risk of becoming the victim of another tragic story or,at the least, risk damaging their health, their future potential and the wellbeing of their families.